The last couple of days have been wet with some dramatic thunderstorms so my umbrella has been my best friend. Six weeks ago, I made the decision to sell my little truck and spend some time without a vehicle of my own. Tony has a van, so I’m not completely without “wheels” but I don’t have the instant access that I’ve been accustomed to and when he’s working in St. Louis, I am completely on foot for that week or so at a time.
I am finding this experiment both frustrating and fascinating. I have discovered that I was wasting a lot of time in meaningless little errands. Since I have to either walk or borrow a vehicle, I no longer go to the store on a whim and I don’t just pick up a few things. I plan more carefully and I find it quite liberating. I am also much more aware of the weather. Since I can’t just dash from the door to a car and then back again, what’s happening outside is much more significant.
My biggest struggle so far is with my pride. I hate depending on anyone else for anything! I have such a hard time asking for help. Perhaps it’s because I fear crossing that fine line between making someone feel good to help and being an annoying burden who is always taking and never giving. We all know that person who is always asking you to help them, but the moment YOU want help, they suddenly have something very important to do…..somewhere else. Of course someone like that doesn’t seem to worry about it, so already I’m ahead of the game.
Sometimes you just have to swallow hard…..